How to write a best mans speech

It is a great honour to be asked to perform the duties of a best man at a wedding. For about ten minutes. Then the fear kicks in as you count down to the moment you are introduced the crowd. A bit dramatic maybe but even for the seasoned public speaker it can be a daunting task to stand up in front of guests expecting to be entertained and deliver a speech which is touching as well as funny. There are a number of speeches available on-line to plunder but you don't want to be coming out with lines that some of the guests have heard at other receptions. Here are a few tips on how to write a great best man's speech for the wedding ...

The best way to write a speech is in sections. There are traditional formalities that you will be expected to address as well as some revealing stories about the groom.

The beginning: Formalities, things you need to say

Your duties as the best man at the wedding is to be on hand to help the groom through out the day. He and his new wife will have been navigating their way through the family politics, overpriced cake suppliers and mad florists for weeks if not months for even the smallest, most informal gathering and it's important they both get chance to enjoy it when it finally arrives. Anything you can do to help on the day and before hand will be gratefully received and as well as holding on to the all important rings there are some traditional mentions that the groom at a Scottish wedding mentions:

If you've been introduced following the Groom and Father of the Bride, thank both of them for their speeches and also thank the guests for attending
Give up a toast to the parents. And if agreed with the groom you can also say thank you to them for putting on such a great day
Finally raise a toast to the happy couple

The toast is best left to the end as it's a good way to end the speech and at a Scottish wedding you can never have too many toasts.

History, relationship to the groom

As the best man, it's likely you'll know a fair number of your friend or brother's family and a lot of mutual friends, however, giving yourself a background in his life helps kick off your speech and fills in the other half of the room who may not know you at all but are still expecting to hear a good speech. Before you bring out your best stories of the groom give a wee history of how you know him, some of the things you have got up to in your past as well as any interesting memories that the two of you share. At this stage you should be thinking a tasteful, short, snappy introduction to why you're standing in front of everyone as the groom's number one, setting the scene and personalising your speech from the beginning.

History of the bride and groom

Once you get to the point in the Grooms life where he meets his new lady Wife include details on how they met and the impact on his life afterwards. If you're especially close to the Bride then maybe include an amusing story about the two of them but be wary of Bridezillas or easily offended Mothers in Law.

Ribbing, gentle teasing or just plain hilarious stories

Some speeches are easier to write than others. If the Groom is the type to have embarrassed himself in public then this part will write itself. The less outgoing your groom is the harder it's going to be to create some amusing stories that will embarrass and amuse at the same time. It's usually possible to find something however. Just write a big list of the most funny, embarrassing moments in the grooms life. If you can't think of much ask around until you have enough material to whittle down some good jokes. Next you've got to look at your material and think of what's appropriate. Remember that you're not just going to be delivering this speech in front of your mates. There's likely to be parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles and children present so that should give you an indication of how far to take jokes. You will be able to get away with more risque jokes in a best mans speech than you would other wise in public but gauge it accordingly. If you're particularly worried about how your materials going to go down throw in a fairly risque one early and see how it goes down. Then you can remove as appropriate.

Good things about the couple

You want to finish up with a few points about the couple, how great they are together, what a wonderful couple they make and wishes for their long and happy life together. Played right you can master funny and even bring a tear to the eye with a sincere ending to your speech with a toast to the Bride and Groom.

A few words on speaking:

If you are fairly confident at speaking in public then you might be able to do with a few cards with a list of prompts to make sure you cover everything you need to.

If you're nervous about speaking try writing out a few lines on each point, just enough so that you know what you're talking about but not so much that you end up reading word for word.

If you're super nervous then just write out the entire thing and read it word for word. I say this because there's nothing worse than a speaker stalling and fluffing what he's trying to say. It's not ideal but if there's no way around your nervousness then it may be the one to go for.

Ask before hand if there is going to be a microphone and make sure you don't hold it so close that you sound like a dodgy phone call and not so quietly that no one can make out what you're saying. If you get chance to suss out the room you're speaking in that should help gauge your volume. Ask the audience if they can hear you early on during your speech.

Main points!

Make sure you know if there is a microphone and try to gauge how loudly you will have to talk for everyone at the back to hear you. The easiest way to do this is just ask – Can everyone hear me at the back? Try to talk clearly – practise the speech out loud at least once to avoid getting tongue tied.
This is a special day for the Bride and Groom – do everything you can to make sure it goes smoothly.
Watch your language and try to gauge the crowd with some early, mild jokes.
Don't drink too much before the speech – it'll only end in disaster!
Big up the groom – even if you slate him a little bit at the beginning and make fun of some of his embarrassing moments remember, you are here to support him, not hang him out to dry in front of his new in-laws.
You'll never have a crowd more warmed up and ready for fun than at a wedding so try and enjoy the experience as much as possible.

Good luck!!