Bridesmaids and flower girls

It's an exciting honour to be asked to be part of the wedding party on a bride's big day but there are many things to consider for both the bride and her lovely bridesmaids and flower girls.

Why bridesmaids?

Bridesmaids are usually the female friends and family of the bride – picked by her to help out on the day and be an official part of the wedding party. Historically the bridesmaids would be unmarried girls although there are no rules when it comes to the age, marital status or in fact anything when it comes to bridesmaids. Numberwise, there are no do's or don't when it comes down to how many bridesmaids one bride needs. Perhaps it's a close family wedding and you really only want you sister or best friend to be involved as Chief Bridesmaid or Maid of Honour. Alternatively, if you have half a dozen close friends or girl cousins coming out of your ears and want to involve them – go for it. Just remember, the more people, the more organising and more potential drama to navigate!

Who pays?

The cost of being a bridesmaid can add up, especially when you include outfit and accessories, hair, make-up and accommodation. No one wants to talk money with friends and family but it's a good idea for the bride to be clear on what she is happy to pay for and what the bridesmaids might be expected to pay themselves. Sorting this out early on is the only way to avoid drama nearer the wedding when you least need it. If the budget is sky high, it's fair for the bride to pay for the majority of the bridesmaids attire and accessories but if the budget is a little more modest come to some arrangement regarding the outfits. There are some fabulous high street options for lovely dresses and lots of work-arounds to avoid difficulties with money when it comes to being bridesmaid. Can the budget stretch to covering some of the costs? Can the dress be worn again or is it a once only item? Talk it through and be clear on costs from the beginning.

Brides beware! Tone down those bridezilla tendencies when it comes to dressing your best friends and sisters. Yes the colour theme might be important to you but be careful to include bridesmaids in the choice of dress (colour, cut, style) and try to accommodate different shapes and sizes. People are happy when they feel comfortable so dressing your size 16 cousin in the same dress as your size 6 sister in a shade of pink that does neither any favours but matches your seat covers perfectly is a recipe for some very unhappy ladies-in-waiting. Likewise, bridesmaids, this is your friend or sister's big day and she will want to have a say in what you are wearing – the best option is to compromise and work together to pick something flattering for everyone and that fits perfectly with the bride's vision.

Flower girls

Flower girls are usually younger than bridesmaids, age 4 to 8 is the common age range although it's up to the bride who she picks it's a good idea to consider how well little ones will behave throughout a service. Nieces, little sisters, family and friends can be flower girls – a pretty dress and a sense of occasion is usually an exciting prospect for a wee girl but do check with her parents that she's happy to be involved – tantrums on the day you can do without! The duties of a flower girl are usually to walk up the aisle ahead of the bride and her father sprinkling flower petals or confetti. It's an idea for the flower girls to sit with their parents once they have walked up the aisle and done their main job – if parents or grandparents can be on hand to handle any flower girl drama's, it's another thing for the bride not to have to worry about!

Duties on the day

On the day, bridesmaids might be involved in dressing the bride and helping her to get ready for her walk down the aisle. Depending on the brides preference, bridesmaids can go down the aisle before or after her, with flower girls heading down first to sprinkle petals as an alternative option. Apart from that, and the obligatory jokes about hooking up with the best man, the bridesmaids duties are really just to help the bride out if she needs help with her wardrobe or extra tissues during the speeches!

Overall, bridesmaids and flower girls are usually picked because the bride wants to have special friends or family around her on her wedding day and the day is one full of fun and happy memories. Common sense and organisation can avoid fallouts but with the emotionally charged stress in the run up to a wedding, keeping calm and being careful of people's feelings can work wonders in leading up to the day itself.