Maid of Honour

Maid of Honour, Chief Bridesmaid, even Matron of Honour – whatever the title you have been given by the bride to be, it's obvious you are held highly in her esteem if she has asked you to be her number one on the day of her wedding.

Your role as Maid of Honour is to help and support your friend or sister to plan, prepare for and be a major part of the wedding day. There are no hard and fast rules for taking on the role of Maid of Honour – it depends entirely on what the Bride is expecting from you and what you are prepared to do yourself. The chances are if she has asked you to be involved, she trusts your judgement and her expectations won't come as a surprise – it's a good idea to sit down over a glass of wine or a coffee and suss out what the plan is.

Planning a wedding is one of the most exciting times for a bride but it can also be a time of serious stress. Your friend or sister will be juggling her and her groom's expectations for their day along with those of her family, her in-laws and friends, add in the cost of the whole thing and you have a pretty intense mix going on. As Maid of Honour you can help ease some of these stresses, be a shoulder to cry on if necessary and someone to offer support when needed whether this is helping with favours and invites or just being at the end of the phone when things are going wrong.

Hen night

It's important to ask whether your bride wants to be involved in planning of her own hen night or if it's something she would like to hand over to you. You'll need to be pretty sure of the type of hen party she is after - some brides just don't want one, sometimes a meal with close friends and others are looking for a weekend of fun complete with male stipper and themed t. shirts. Whatever your friend is after, it's a good idea to be clear early on and to get things organised. The hen night is designed to be a stress relieving blast of fun before the big day so it's ideal to make the night as easy for your bride as possible – chances are she's got a lot going on anyway!

The day

On the day of the wedding you are likely to be with the bride from the first thing, through hair and make-up and the first celebratory drink of the day. The most important thing is for you to be comfortable and happy (hopefully you have had a say in the dress you are wearing!) - and you are able to help keep the bride calm before you head to the ceremony. The chances are if you have had a run through before hand you'll know where you need to stand and what you'll do during the ceremony but if not make sure you ask before hand.

A couple of questions might be:

Do you walk down the aisle before or after the bride? You can do both, it's really up to the bride.
Do you need to take the bride's flowers? Usually, yes once she's walked down the aisle.
Who do you leave the church with? Often it's the best man.

If you are doing a reading, find out the timing and the place you need to stand. Otherwise, sit back and enjoy the ride.

Bridezilla's

If you find that your otherwise totally normal friend or sister has suddenly turned into a demanding bridezilla, take a step back. Bear in mind that as the bride she is probably suffering from wedding overload and needs to take a break. Try and get her to acknowledge that things are stressful and persuade her to take a night off the wedding planning. You might well be suffering from overload too and it's not even your wedding day so if you can, just take a day for yourself and do anything, anything at all that doesn't involve colour co-ordinating chair covers or writing invites!

You are there to support the bride but the best thing you can do for her is to be calm and positive, whatever happens on the day, it should be an enjoyable occasion and high stress levels in the lead up won't help anyone.